This isn't really up my alley but I like it for what it is, PoisonPen. It seems really familiar but I don't know what exactly it reminds me of. The giant "chubby" kid at the end wading through the ocean would probably look hilarious on screen. I don't really have much criticsm for you since I'm not really into kids movie but I could see this being a real movie, easily. It almost feels like deja vu when I read it, though, not sure why.
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